I became a mother at 19, and from that moment, I was conditioned to believe that hard work and sacrifice were the only measures of success. Seldom did anyone ask me how I was caring for my mental health or if I was truly happy. I assumed this was normal—that because I made the choice to have a child young, struggle was my destiny.
This mindset shaped my entire existence. As a single mother, I bore the weight of the world alone, refusing help, convinced that I had to atone for my choices through relentless work. Even in marriage, I carried this burden, never allowing anyone to share my load. I had unknowingly sentenced myself to a life of silent suffering, becoming both the prisoner and the warden of my own expectations.
The military seemed like the perfect fit—it reinforced the ideals of discipline, hard work, and self-sacrifice that I had ingrained in myself. I pushed forward, measuring success by exhaustion and ignoring the cracks forming within me. At one point, I was juggling an acting career, full-time college, military service, and motherhood. I told myself this was strength, but in reality, I was unraveling. Depression took root. Anxiety attacks became my norm. Yet, I kept moving, believing still that stopping meant failing.
It took years—and countless moments of breaking—to realize that I was living for everyone except myself. I had created a prison of survival mode, convinced that life was nothing more than obligation and sacrifice. Therapy, faith, and sheer determination helped me unlearn this mindset. I started saying no to things that disturbed my peace and yes to the life I actually wanted. I learned that self-care isn’t selfish, that rest is not a reward but a necessity, and that true success isn’t measured by suffering.
I finally understood that my life is mine to live. When I put God, my passions, and my children at the center of my priorities—not the expectations of others—I found freedom. The weight lifted. The light returned.
Choosing yourself is terrifying when you've spent a lifetime living for others, but with courage and conviction, it is possible. And I’m here to show other women that they, too, can break free from survival mode and step into the life they deserve.
