David W. Bennett

Healing America

Creating Common Ground Connections

It’s apparent over the last few years that the United States is deeply divided. There are not only many different perspectives but, those perspectives are often rigidly held. How do we re-unite our country? I believe it starts with how we communicate with one another.

Common ground connections is a new approach to communicating that focuses on others and helps people communicate even with people with whom they have the strongest differences. The main strengths of common ground connections are:

1. People already use these skills. Unfortunately, they don’t do so deliberately or with any frequency. Usually, these actions just “happen.” When they do, it “feels” good and is effective, but we don’t seem to make a concerted effort to make them happen in a given conversation.

2. People don’t have to re-invent their other communication skills. People only have to use the current communication skills that work for them to support themselves in adopting this new approach.

3. Requirements: The only real requirements of this approach are that the person “focus” on their conversational partner, and be willing to slightly adapt their communication to each person with whom they interact.

Creating common ground connections are created when two people having a conversation feel or consciously sense that they’ve really established a closeness, a high level of agreement, even a shared consciousness. Both people are “tuned in” to the other person. Both people feel like they really “clicked.”

My presentations give participants a chance to “feel” what it’s like to create common ground connections through interactive exercises. They learn skills which they can “take back” to their workplace and use immediately.

Establishing common ground and creating connections with others obviously combines these two sets of skills. When we establish common ground with others we seek to find things that we have in common with another person. When we do this it makes it easier to communicate.

Sometimes we go deeper than common ground and create a “connection” with someone. Connecting with others means the two people are literally thinking in the same ways. Each person thoroughly understands one another. A conversation that is free from confusion or judgment is created because the two people are basically communicating as one. Connecting with others, like common ground, feels good and is more effective.

I believe that a first step in healing America is for each person to understand and respect differences. This grassroots effort must start with each one of us. Using the common ground connections approach is one way we can all start.

Website: www.common-ground-communication.org

Published Book: Connect & Succeed: A Communication Style to Engage and Motivate Your Employees (Amazon).