Jessica Frew | SpeakerHub

Personal Details

Bio

Jessica Frew is a wife, ex-wife, mom, stepmom, and BOLD action taker. She has a successful podcast called “Husband in Law” that she records with her husband, Matt, and her ex-husband, Steve. Together they are sharing their stories of love, marriage, coming out, divorce, remarriage and co-parenting to help others know they are not alone. She owns The BOLD Logic, a company devoted to helping people figure out the “What NOW?!” after betrayal or having a partner come out. Jessica is a firm believer that by knowing and understanding what it is you really want in life you can BOLDly create a life you love, no matter what your circumstances.

Current position (1)

Owner

The BOLD Logic

Degrees (1)

Family and Consumer Science

Idaho State University

2002 to 2005

Presentations

Presentations (4)

Kicking "Shoulds" Out of Your Life

Are you living in a world of judgment? Do thoughts run through your head like… you “should” have accomplished something by a certain age, you “should” have a partner, you “should” be this far in your career… sound familiar? Well, the truth is, “should” is a word we need to retire yesterday. The truth of life is that you are an utterly unique person with valid, lived experiences and you have a right to live your life and make choices that are right for you… no “shoulds” allowed.

Too often we let society give us the side-eye when we make choices that stray from the so-called “norm.” We grow and evolve as human beings, and the things we decide for ourselves at age 25 may not be the same at 40. And that’s totally okay. In this heartfelt talk, I’ll address how to silence the “shoulds” we tell ourselves and the “shoulds” we also get from those close to us. When we live boldly, we have peace within and we can confidently tell all the “shoulds” to stay in their lane.

You’re Staying Married… Why?

When we are young, we may dream of one day being married. And then when we do walk down the aisle, we feel like one of our cherished childhood dreams has come true.
The trouble is, when we suffer a partner's betrayal, such as a husband coming out, emotional and sexual infidelity, or any other kind of deception… that dream of romantic bliss and security crumbles before our very eyes. Even so, we can then go into a state of denial, similar to the stages of grief. We tell ourselves unrealistic things like, “I can change him” or “I can deal with this “new normal” in order to preserve our relationship and family” even though we know deep down that none of these things are true.
Here are the most common reasons why women feel compelled to stay married, such as preserving the family they’ve built with their spouse, staying married for the kids, and other fallacies that deny basic truths about healthy marriages and family relationships.

Before You Can Become a Badass, You Gotta Heal

Do you remember that line from the movie Forrest Gump, the one where Forrest says, “My Mama always said you had to put the past behind you, before you can move on.” Turns out, Forrest’s Mama was right.
In order to grow into the best version of yourself, you have to heal the parts of you holding you back from realizing your full potential. This means making peace with those who hurt you, including a current or past partner, your parents, and most of all, yourself.
Let me show you how you can take those first steps towards finding and healing the brokenness within, and releasing the feelings that no longer serve you. Because the truth is, you deserve llove, peace and passion in your life… not a record on repeat of your most painful experiences.

"Feel" You Up First

Being a martyr will never manifest the life and love you desire. You have to first fill your own cup to overflowing, so you can then share your fully realized self with others. Part of what we need to “unlearn” is the idea that we have to serve out pieces of ourselves like some buffet in order to make others happy. In reality, we need to draw boundaries, create sacred self-care rituals, and honor our own divine right for happiness so that we can pour our joy into those who mean the most to us.
By treating ourselves as we were taught to treat others, we shatter dysfunctional belief systems such as self-sacrifice and love as brokenness. We also are given the opportunity to break these generational patterns so we don’t pass them on to our children, which can be our greatest gift of all. In this talk, I’ll give you my best tips on how to fill your cup first, even if you’re a born “people pleaser” ingrained to put yourself last.